Setting It All Up

The last few weeks have been spent, exploring topics such as: my future, dating, and wellness. We discussed the good, the bad, and the ugly; while exploring the biggest challenges that us 20 somethings currently face.

As some of you may remember, my first blog post called “It’s a Set Up” was about being told how great your 20s will be, only to realize that when you get there, it was a total set up.

Instead of focusing on feeling like my current life has been a “set up”, within the last few months I have really been taking steps towards “setting it all up” when it comes to making the rest of my 20s a success. For example, my days as a student are practically over and my goal is to become a young working professional. So I have really tried recently to make this goal a success by looking and acting the part.

Lushwana looking and acting like a young working professional. Source: Lushwana Anderson-Stewart

Here is my guide on how to set up your 20s for success:

Speak your goals into existence: If you say what you want out loud enough times, odds are either your actions will start to align or that good energy your putting out into the atmosphere will come back to work in your favour one day.
Believe in yourself: Believing in yourself is the #1 foundation to success. If you don’t believe in yourself first, then who else will?
Explore & Be Optimistic: As mentioned countless times before, your 20s is a time of trying experience new without any hesitant. Open up your mind to new learning to foster your growth and success

If you only takeaway one thing from this post, my hopes are that you will remember that everything you experience in your 20s, whether good or bad, is actually setting you up to build and improve the rest of your life. So be sure to welcome all of these experiences with open arms.

I’ve really had an amazing time on this journey with all of you thus far. I will be taking a little break from blogging to jumpstart my professional career but I hope to be back very soon to continue this journey of figuring out the rest of our 20s together. Thank you for allowing me to share my thoughts and experiences unapologetically and for giving me a sense of relief, that I am not alone.

“Twenty is for you. Twenty is for growth.
Your 20s are for the pursuit of a tomorrow that is better than today”

~Judge Lynn

Until next time.

~Miss Twenty Something

What are some ways that you set up your 20s for success? What are some topics you would like to see me write on in the future? Please leave a message in the comment section below.

Me Time

When can you last remember actually spending time alone?

If you took a little long to come up with an answer or didn’t have an answer at all then this is the perfect post for you.

I truly believe that your 20s is a time to work on your personal growth, in hopes of becoming your best self. As important as it is to be a social butterfly and surround yourself with good company, a significant part of wellness is taking the time to just unwind alone.

Here are four tips for unwinding alone:

Turn down the lights: Dimming your lights will help to set the perfect ambiance for relaxation.
Smell is everything: Light a candle or diffuse some oils, to provide a calm atmosphere.
Cuddle Something: Whether it is a dog or a body pillow, find something to cuddle because coziness takes unwinding alone to the text level.
Put your phone on do not disturb: The important part of unwinding alone is actually being alone. So put your phone on do not disturb to avoid any distractions.

Lushwana’s iPhone in “Do Not Disturb” mode. Source: Lushwana Anderson-Stewart

In one of my previous posts entitled: The Art of Balancing Life, I expressed that it is important to “treat yo self” and having a solo night is another perfect way to do just that.

Here are three ideas for a solo dolo night:

Pamper Yourself: Treating yourself to a personal spa night will do wonders for your stress level. Ideas include a face mask and a bubble bath. I really recommend trying a Lush bath bomb (it will change your life).
Read a book or watch a movie: Reading for fun is a foreign concept for 20 year olds (especially college students), so if you’re a reader then take the night to invest in a dreamy romance novel or a mind-racing mystery novel. Reading not your thing? Have a movie marathon.
Home-cooked meal: Making a good old home-cooked dinner is a perfect way to spend your night alone. I often love to make myself a meal that I usually never have time to make and I top it off with a glass of wine which is a great addition to pull the meal together.

Home-cooked lasagna for dinner. Source: Lushwana Anderson-Stewart

The thought of being alone may make you feel uncomfortable or afraid. But I would really like to encourage you to just spend a night alone, doing something fun that you enjoy and never really have time to do otherwise. The mental and physical benefits will be so apparent that you’ll find yourself doing it a lot more than you thought you ever would.

Check our my friend Trevor’s blog called DeHaan Solo, which is all about guide to enjoying the solo life.

~Miss Twenty Something

What are some ways you unwind alone? Ever had a solo night? If so, how did you spend it? Feel free to share with me in the comments below.

Don’t Lose the Child in You

We all have things that we miss about our childhood. They may include the following: no responsibilities, little worries, or even simply doing something silly and being able to laugh at yourself.

I want you to think back to your childhood. Remember feeling so happy-go-lucky or like you could take on the world? That’s the beautiful thing about children: the way they are so self-confident and care-free.

Care-free Lushwana at two years old. Source: Lushwana Anderson-Stewart

However, these are traits that often begin to become foreign to us as we begin to get older and our lives begin to change.

In fact, the harsh reality is: depression and anxiety are among the most common mental health conditions experienced by young people. The frequency of change and uncertainty experienced in one’s adolescence often triggers feelings of sadness or a lack of confidence, instead of sparking excitement and optimism like when we were kids.

But i’m here to tell you that as you continue to make your way through this journey that we call life, that you can still move ahead without letting the past go. Just because you’re growing up and life is taking its course, it doesn’t mean that you must leave behind the child you once were.

Here are 5 ways to never lose the child in you:

Put yourself in unfamiliar situations: Have an open mind and expose yourself to new things.
Pick up a creative hobby: It’s hard to feel curious and carefree when you spend most of your time working or running errands. Take a few moments each day to engage in an activity that you find creatively stimulating.
Look up: There’s a big world around you, and it can be easy to tunnel vision your way through each day. Be sure to take the time to look up and just enjoy the world around you.
Spend time with kids: There is no better way to tap into your inner child then to surround yourself with other kids. They’ll really help you remember the little things that matter.
Do something each day “just because”: Kids are forever doing things simply because they want to. So dance, watch a TV show you’ve been waiting to see or meet up with your long-time friend.

Care-free Lushwana at 20 years old, tapping into her inner child. Source: Lushwana Anderson-Stewart

Starting today I want you to take some time to tap into that happy place once known as your childhood and to begin believing again that everything and anything is possible. Lastly, always stay true to yourself and hold on to the things that make your heart smile, no matter how little they are or no matter how old you may get.

~Miss Twenty Something

What are ways you tap into your inner child? Comment below.

20 Things Every 20 Something Hated as a Kid, But Loves as an Adult

Change is inevitable. As we grow from children into adults it is only natural that our likes, dislikes, and interests will change. In fact, many of the things we hated as kids, we eventually come to love and appreciate as adults. Isn’t that ironic?

Here are 20 things every 20 something hated as a kid, but now loves as an adult:

1. Naps: Remember being in kindergarten and being forced to take a nap? It felt like torture. Now as an adult, you make any excuse just to take one.

Naps are essential for adults to get through their long days. Source: Giphy

2. Long car rides: Are we there yet? The nagging question that every parent hated to hear from their child. Now as an adult, long car rides are used to just relax.

3. Healthy food: Every kid’s diet consists of sugar but as an adult, ordering a salad at a restaurant is actually cool. And spinach smoothies and kale chips actually taste delicious.

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Kids hate healthy foods. Source: Giphy

4. Siblings: Your childhood was probably spent either nagging your siblings, arguing with them or both. However, now that you’re older those things have stopped and you learn to appreciate them a lot more.

Myself with my siblings. Source: Lushwana Anderson-Stewart

5. Having nothing to do: This was every kid’s worst nightmare. But now I would love if my schedule would just magically clear up so I can just sit at home and do absolutely nothing.

6. Shopping: Your parents would drag you shopping when were a kid and you would hate it because you’d much rather be at home playing video games or watching TV. But now, shopping is your favourite sport.

Shop ’til you drop. Source: Giphy

7. Finishing your meal: I’m sure when you were a kid, your parents refused to let you leave the table without finishing your meal. Nowadays, as an adult you go back for seconds or even thirds.

As a adult, controlling your eating habits can be hard. Source: Giphy

8. Going to bed early: Most kids would do anything to be able to stay up late with the grown folks but as an adult, going to bed early is a treat.

9. Cash gifts: As a kid, your parents would force you to put that money into your “savings” but now you can spend it on whatever you want.

When you’re actually not a broke adult. Source: Giphy

10. Dark chocolate: The bitterness has actually turned out to be not that bad after all.

11. Alone time: Now that your life is so much busier and a lot more complicated, alone time as an adult is genuinely cherished.

Sometimes adults just want to be left alone. Source: Giphy

12. Alcohol: You probably stuck your finger in one of your parents’ drinks as a kid, to see what it tasted like and you regretted it immediately. Now alcohol is one of the greatest perks of being an adult.

Indulging in alcohol as an adult. Source: Giphy

13. Family vacations: Your parents pay for everything and your sole responsibility is to relax? I don’t know why we ever hated this as a kid.

14. Baths: Bath-time use to be the worst time. Now it seems like you can’t get enough of a relaxing bath or hot shower. And bath bombs are pretty much on your every wish-list.

Every adult loves a hot shower. Source: Giphy

15. The News: You actually developed an interest of staying informed about the world around you and keeping up-to-date with current events. Who would have thought?

Keeping up with the news, has it’s perks. Source: Giphy

16. Practical gifts: This is everything we wish for as an adult, so we don’t have to buy it ourselves and can waste our money on better things.

17. The opposite sex: I grew up thinking boys had the “cooties” and that I needed to stay away from them but turns out they’re actually pretty alright.

Little boy believes a girl gave him the “cooties”. Source: We Know Memes

18. People thinking you’re younger than you are: Only adults truly understand the power in looking younger than you actually are.

Telling an adult they look younger than they are, is their favourite compliment. Source: Giphy

19. Getting your hair done: Every kid hates sitting in one spot for a long period of time, just to get their hair done. Now we look forward to hair appointments because new hair, who dis?

20. Being seen with your parents: Chances are they got less embarrassing overtime or maybe you just learned to accept it.

Myself with my mom at my university graduation. Source: Lushwana Anderson-Stewart

The truth is, aging can really change our perspective on things. And that’s okay.

~Miss Twenty Something

What did you hate as a child but now love as an adult? Share with us in the comments below.

The Evolution of Fashion

Fashion has always made the world go around. To simply say that our generation is obsessed with fashion trends, would be an understatement. In fact, I’d like to argue that 20 somethings are some of the most stylish people out there.

When taking a look at current fashion trends, it is clear that the trends that currently exist have been largely inspired by the 90’s, a time when us 20 somethings were children. Here are some items from the 90’s fashion world that have come back full circle:

Cargo pants

Meeka rocking army cargo pants. Source: Meeka Francis

Biker shorts

Keren slaying in her Fashion Nova black biker shorts. Source: Keren Annor

Tube tops/dresses

Brooke is radiant in her bright yellow tube top. Source: Brooke Graham

Dungarees and overall dresses

Pretty in pink. Reni’s got us out of breath with this modern overall dress. Source: Reni Odetoyinbo

Short hair styles

Kirsten is in a class of her own with this chic bob cut. Source: Kirsten Bloomfield

Round/cat-eye/colourful sunglasses

Lydia is serving LOOKS with these colourful cat-eye shades. Source: Angie

Mom jeans

Tomachi is simply slaying it in these light washed mom jeans. Source: Tomachi Onyewuchi

Leather jackets

Lushwana rocking a stylish black leather jacket. Source: Lushwana Anderson-Stewart

Chokers

Lushwana came through drippin’ with this trendy sliver sparkly choker. Source: Lushwana Anderson-Stewart

Fanny packs

Adara snatched our edges with this look. Check out her TNA fanny pack. Source: Adara Haynes

Matching Sets and clear shoes

Meeka can we get a warning next time? She snapped with this colourful matching set and stylish clear shoes. Source: Meeka Francis

Tracksuits/ trackpants

My girl Cyaira killed it with this thrifted tracksuit. Source: Cyaira Kozak

Neon

Liana is shining bright in this neon dress. Source: Liana Langley

Bangs

This look is bangin’. Lushwana rocks a long straight black hairstyle with front bangs. Source: Lushwana Anderson-Stewart

Latex dress

Kirsten did not come to play with this fire red latex dress. Source: Kirsten Bloomfield

I have lost count of the amount of photos that I have seen of my mom rocking a fire fit in the 90s and wondered why she didn’t save it for me to do a comeback. So here’s a tip: put some of your current favourite and trendy pieces of clothing in storage because it is highly guaranteed to make its way back into style. Trust me, your future kids will thank you.

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Check out some of my favourite fashion looks of my mom in the 90’s. Source: Claudette Anderson

Whoever said money can’t buy you happiness, clearly didn’t know where to shop! But don’t you worry, I’ve got you when it comes to where to shop for the stylish pieces above. Here are four popular places where every 20-something currently shops:

1. Zara: You probably shop here more frequently than you’d like to admit. But I can definitely understand why, because Zara has it all. From urban and street, to professional attire you can expect that they always have what you’re looking for.

Personal Review: Zara can get a little pricey but the quality of clothing that you receive is well worth it. Their men’s section is also just as big as their women’s section, which you don’t see in most popular clothing stores.

Zara’s men’s clothing section. Source: Lushwana Anderson-Stewart

2. Fashion Nova: Don’t think I forgot about you online shoppers. Nowadays, it’s hard to find a 20-something without a Fashion Nova fit. Specifically, the company is known for their fast turn-around in styles. They often mimic styles worn by celebrities like Kylie Jenner and Cardi B and with most prices under $50, Fashion Nova will have you feeling like you’re balling on a budget.

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A sneak peak of Cardi B’s Fashion Nova collection #FNxCARDI. Click here to “Shop Cardi” . Source: Fashion Nova’s Instagram

Personal Review: Quality of clothing is often poor, however prices are very cheap and shipping is free when you spend over $75.

3. Forever 21: Forever 21 is the ultimate fashion destination as it caters to a variety of ultra-trendy aesthetics-from classy and sporty, to preppy. Speaking of variety, they also have a men’s section and a plus-sized section.

Forever 21’s plus-sized clothing section. Source: Lushwana Anderson-Stewart

Personal Review: Decent quality clothing and low prices. Be cautious that Forever 21 only does exchanges and no returns, so make sure you love your purchases.

4. H & M: H & M carries a variety of fashion items- cute tops, chic dresses and statement jewelry, scarves, and shoes. What’s cool about H & M is that they frequently do collaborations with high-end brands like Balmain and Alexander Wang, and with celebrities such as Nicki Minaj and The Weeknd.

H & M’s accessories and shoe section. Source: Lushwana Anderson-Stewart

Personal Review: Quality of clothing may vary but H & M carries very trendy and affordable items.

Now that you’re up to date with the latest millennial fashion trends and places for you to shop while in your 20s, I assure you that you will be the fashion icon that you have always aspired to be.

~Miss Twenty Something

What is your favourite fashion piece that has made a comeback? Let me know in the comments below.

20 Things We Should All Do in our 20s

Your 20s is a time to try new things, and have fun before the responsibilities of life completely begin to take over. With that said, my friends on Instagram have helped me craft a list of 20 things that everyone should do in their 20s. Maybe you’ll add one or two things from the list below to your own bucket-list. Check it out!

The Ultimate 20 Something Bucket-List:

1. Learn how to love yourself: Start a journal, take yourself out to dinner or simply give yourself a compliment. Spend your 20s falling in love with yourself.

2. Go on a friend-cation: Nothing will compare to going on a spontaneous vacation with your closest friends. Suggestions: road trip or a girls’ trip.

Road trip with the guys. Source: Giphy

3. Learn a new language : This can be fun and also super useful if you plan on travelling. As you get older, it is harder to learn a new language so why wait? Do it right now. Buena suerte.

4. Apply for your dream job

5. Binge watch a Netflix series: Choose a show that you have put off watching and get to it! Suggestions: Friends, How to Get Away with Murder, and Riverdale.

Binge watching Netflix. Source: Giphy

6. Do something you’ve always wanted to do, despite what others say: Get a tattoo or quit your minimum wage job that makes you miserable. Always remember, do what makes YOU happy and never settle for less.

7. Take a class: Take a class in something you’ve never tried before. If you absolutely hate it, well now you know, but if you love it, you have found a new hobby. Suggestions: A yoga class, an art-class, or a kick-boxing class.

Yoga class. Source: Giphy

8. Pick a cause and be passionate about it

9. Attend a multi-day/weekend music festival: Spending days away from responsibility, relaxing, and listening to good music? Why wouldn’t you want to do this in your 20s? Suggestions: Way-home, Oshega, or Coachella

Coachella 2015. Source: Giphy

10. Trace your family tree: There is no history more interesting than your own. Figure out who your ancestors were and how they impacted the world and your own life.

11. Date someone who isn’t your “type”: Maybe the relationship won’t work out in the end or maybe you’ll meet your future spouse. Maybe you’ll have a great time or a terrible time, but you will learn and grow from the experience. Suggestion: Go on a blind date

Blind date. Source: Giphy

12. Make a time capsule for yourself

13. Take a risk: Odds are once you get older you won’t be as willing to do something crazy, so get it over with now. Suggestions: Bungee jumping or skydiving.

Skydiving. Source: Giphy

14. Run a marathon: Not all of us can be Usain Bolt, but pushing yourself physically is good for your body and soul.

Running a marathon. Source: Giphy

15. Pull an all-nighter for fun (And not to finish an essay or a school assignment).

16. Learn to cook: You might not be the next Gordon Ramsey or Martha Stewart, but knowing how to whip up a good meal is critical to your everyday life.

Learning to cook. Source: Giphy

17. Discover something new about yourself: Your 20’s are a time of personal growth. Make it a goal to learn more about yourself and who you really are.

18. Move to a new city: Your 20s are the perfect time to find new cities to immerse yourself into, to see if you could build a life there. Suggestions: NYC or LA.

Walking the streets of New York City. Source: Giphy

19. Backpack around the world independently

Backpacking solo dolo. Source: Tumblr

20. Find love: Your 20s is definitely a time in your life to meet new people and experience the kind of passionate, crazy love that makes your head spin. Let love in and enjoy every minute of it because nothing beats the feeling of being in love with someone who feels the same way.

Couple passionately in love. Source: Giphy

~Miss Twenty Something

What’s on your own personal bucket-list?

Cuffing Szn

Guest Blogger: Klevis Mazreku, the writer of Klevy’s Corner

It’s that time of year again, leaves are falling off trees, the temperature is dropping and winter is about to devastate us. This can only mean one thing, its cuffing SZN. Women, find you a man who’s going to keep the fire burning all winter long and men, find you cuddle buddy to get you through those cold winter nights.

Definition of cuffing season (szn). Source: Urban Dictionary

Seeing as you’re on a time crunch, sticking to a rigorous schedule is key in finding someone to cuff. If you plan accordingly and follow the official cuffing season schedule, you’ll be on the right track.

The official cuffing season (szn) schedule. Source: Canadian Party Life’s Instagram

Dating apps:

So, now that you are aware of the timeline, you’re ready to get out there. But how exactly do you find someone to cuff? If you don’t like sliding into your crushes DM’s or don’t like your DM’s being slid into, consider using an online dating apps like Tinder or Bumble.

It’s already cold out and you probably don’t want to leave your house anyway, so online dating sites might just be what you’re looking for. Tinder is the ideal app for those of you ladies who like to get approached first, just beware that you will probably have to scroll through some questionable messages before you find prince charming.

If you like being the go – getter, Bumble might be the platform for you. Girls are the ones who message first, so you can choose exactly who interacts with you.

Now that you have officially made it to the pre-season, and found your special someone to hibernate with for the next few months (maybe lifetime). The next step is to try out some of these affordable date ideas below….

Four fun and affordable date ideas for you and your winter lover:

1. Netflix and cuddle: Cuffing Szn is ideal for Netflix and cuddling. With a wide variety of christmas movies at your fingertips, you will have countless hours of film and fun from the comfort of your own home.

Netflix and cuddle. Source: Lasonia B Graves

2. Go tobogganing: For those of you who enjoy being outside when the snow falls, tobogganing is a fun way to get up close and personal with your partner while also getting a bit of exercise.

3. Make mug cakes: Mug cakes don’t require a lot of effort to make. It’s a delicious and fun.

Chocolate mug cake. Source: Tumblr

4. Build a gingerbread house: People barely do this anymore, but thats what makes it special. Gather your baking supplies and unleash your imagination with your partner on December 12th, Gingerbread House Day. And don’t forget the Christmas music!

~Mr. Twenty Something

So how are you spending the first official day of the Pre-Season? Comment below.

Livin’ La Vida Broka!

I got 99 problems…And money is all them.

Meme from http://favoritethings.danoah.com/

Whether it is your summer work savings or that OSAP, if you’re a college student like myself, it is about that time that your funds are running out. I mean when your textbooks cost more than your rent, your bank account is constantly in overdraft, and you’ve been living off mac n cheese, you have no other choice than to learn how to make ends meet.

There have 100% been times when I pulled up to the gas station and pumped $5.64 worth of gas in my car because that’s all the money that I could scrounge together from the bottom of my handbag.

Photo taken by Lushwana Anderson-Stewart

Or when my friends and I will literally debate on whether to get Tim Hortons or Starbucks and will resort to checking our bank account, so it can decide for us. The truth is, having to count every single penny you spend is quite exhausting.

For now, to help you through the rest of your struggle (college) years, here’s a guide to how I handle that #BrokeLife:

Thrift, thrift, thrift!

Thrifting has literally become my life. In fact, true story, I have actually been recently looking for a professional coat that I can wear to my interviews and I found one in great condition at Salvation Army for $15.99! I know, a steal right?

Me rocking my new thrifted coat.

Make a Budget

This may sound lame but I literally use a Microsoft excel worksheet to make a budget for each semester. I allocate money for rent, food, my bills, and leisure activities. It is the easiest way to keep your money organized.

Price Check

The app Flip, has become my go-to when shopping. Save time and money by using the app to search for flyer deals and coupons

Screenshot from Flip app.

Prioritize what you need and avoid wasting money on useless items

This may simply be the act of questioning everything you buy. Did you really need that new IPhone?

Shout-out to my fellow college students that feel my struggle. Hopefully one day we’ll be able to look back on these moments and just laugh.

~Miss Twenty Something

Comment your most interesting college budgeting experiences below.

Tune in next week for a guest blog post!

The Art of Balancing Life

Does your life ever look like this?

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The art of balancing life. Source: Hello Giggles

Good. I’m glad I’m not the only one! The truth is…there is times when I feel like I have my life together and other times when I feel like my life is falling apart. However, I have learned that finding a balance is the key to living your best life!

If you’re like me and you struggle with the art of balancing life, here are eight tips to help you along the way:

1. STRUCTURE: Be organized! Give yourself a routine, use an agenda or make a to-do-list.

Lushwana’s agenda and day planner. Source: Lushwana

2. LIVE A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE: The typical answer you’re going to get is to eat healthy, exercise regularly, and get amble sleep. Yes, those are all actions that will lead to a healthy lifestyle but please, PLEASE remember that it is a process! You’re not going to master these things overnight, however saying no to that cheeseburger (that you probably don’t need) or walking to a destination instead of taking the bus, are great first steps.

3. AVOID NEGATIVITY: I am a big believer in good vibes and positive energy. If someone tries to throw negative energy your way, choose to say “Nope, not today!”. Trust me when I say that you need to actively take steps to surround yourself with people who lift you up and make you happy.

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Avoiding negativity. Source: Slap Laughter

4. TREAT YO SELF: Schedule a pedicure or a facial. Better yet, schedule a whole spa day, go on a shopping spree, or wine and dine at your favourite restaurant. If you want to unwind without breaking the bank, then have a jam out session to your favourite music, take a long bubble bath, or just sleep in.

Different ways Lushwana treats herself. Source: Lushwana Anderson-Stewart

5. PRIORITIZE: Take some time to figure out what is important (and what isn’t) and evaluate how much time and energy you should invest into things that matter to you. And yes, this includes the ability to sometimes say NO.

6. SELF-AWARENESS: In times of high stress, it is very tempting to bury yourself in work to forget all of your problems. However, being able to recognize when you have too much on your plate is key. A dairy is a great way to start a journey of self-reflection.

Ways in which Lushwana self-reflects. Source: Lushwana Anderson-Stewart

7. MAKE TIME TO SOCIALIZE: I know that you probably want to sit in front of your laptop all day and watch Netflix or be glued to your phone to see who liked your latest Instagram post, but it is important to disconnect from those habits. Take some time to ACTUALLY connect and socialize with family and friends in person, for example, have a games or movie night.

Lushwana and her friends. Source; Lushwana Anderson-Stewart

8. EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED: Life usually never go as planned, but once you learn how to stress less and to roll with the punches, you’ll be much better off. By accepting that anything can happen, at any time, it’ll less likely throw you off your stride when something goes unplanned.

~ Miss Twenty Something

What are some ways you find balance in your life? Let me know in the comments below.

I have goals…not a five year plan!

As soon as I reached twenty years old, I hated going to family functions. Why you may ask? Because there was no doubt in my mind that I would be asked by at least three relatives what my future life plans were. The pressure was on, to not only make myself look good but to make my single mom, who raised me for 18 years alone, look good as well. You can be assured that my mom was on the sidelines, like a proud cheerleader parent giving me a thumbs up and a smile when I was answering well.

Photo of Lushwana and her mom. Source: Lushwana

My typical response would look like:

-Finish my undergraduate degree by 22 years old
-Attend and finish Osgoode Law School by 26 years old
-Meet the love of my life and get married by 28 years old
-Start having a family by 30 years old

Twenty years old, has been a very confusing time for me. Am I a girl, a woman…or something in between? This is a question that constantly runs through my mind. Sometimes my parents still treat me like I’m their “little girl” yet I am expected to be a “woman” …to know exactly what I want to do with the rest of my life.

Left: Lushwana as a baby. Right: Lushwana at 20 years old. Source: Lushwana

I mean let’s be real…women definitely get the shitty end of the stick. They are expected to build their career more quickly than men because they need to get married and start having children while they are still “young”. But what is considered “young”? And why do we have to put a time limit on the things we would like accomplish?

Finally, I got fed up and stopped answering the “what are your future plans?” question with a scripted answer. My new response became: “I have goals…not a five-year or even ten-year plan!”.

I have goals of travelling the world with my family and friends, of meeting someone who I can spend the rest of life with, and yes maybe even have a family.

But will that all happen? And if so, when will it happen? Who’s to know? But at the end of the day I am content with not knowing EXACTLY what my future looks like. Isn’t that the fun in it anyways?

~Miss Twenty Something

How does the question: “What are your future goals?” make you feel? Let me know in the comments below.